Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
