I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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