Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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