If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
