if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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