i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
