And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
