You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
