your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
