As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
