i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
