This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
