ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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