Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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