Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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