let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
