Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Come share oat with me in your robe
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
