her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
BRING THE BAGELS
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
