Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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