there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
