you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
