i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
