hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
