So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
