'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
