Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
