"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
