The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
