I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We named our party play list daddy issues
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
