i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
