In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have aggressive nipples.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
