I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
