I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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