I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
