I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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