first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
