well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
