im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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