I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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