I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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