Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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