I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
