I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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