I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
