i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
