White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
