you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
