What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
