Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
