Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
