KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
